I breastfed Phoebe until she was almost 9 months old - looking back … I don’t know how my body produced enough milk for her. It was a hard few months as I was as stubborn about losing weight as I was about nourishing Phoebe, and there was a definite conflict of interest there! I followed the Filling and Healthy plan the whole time I breastfed as it encouraged wholesome food options that suited breastfeeding. I honestly don’t know how I stuck so rigidly to it. Phoebe was a good baby - that definitely helped. But, I was adamant. Any of you who have dieted successfully will know that you’ve got to just be ‘in the zone’ – wholly committed to the cause and implementing action daily. I was enjoying the control I had regained, both over my body and with food, and once I saw the fruits of my labour I was (once again) hooked.
In my previous posts I alluded to the dedication required to lose weight. It’s no easy feat – no matter what stage of life you are at. Yes, some times are easier than other times (age/weight dependent etc) but ultimately … it takes great self-control and sacrifice. It’s a well-worn path for me. Almost 10 years of calorie controlling can’t be good for a person! I know that my brain has now been wired to think a certain way when it comes to food. I also know that I have to re-wire some new pathways to renew and transform my thinking.
Thankfully (for me) I lost the 4 stone. I’m currently at a healthy weight, once again, for my height. I only had a wee shaky period when I went back to work full-time. I was stressed and under-eating as a result. If I couldn’t control the situation or workload – I was sure as hell going to control something! No hard guess that it was food. But now, from the outside, I probably look to be a healthy weight. Yet, on the inside, I have such a long way to go. I guess I’m writing this as both acknowledgement of how far I’ve come and a declaration that there’s still plenty of work to do in this area of my life. But also, as a virtual ‘me too’ to you reading - if any of this resonates with you.
I step on the scales almost every single morning.
Yes. I do.
It is absolutely not something I advocate.
It is habit.
Thankfully I don’t let the numbers on those scales dictate my mood like they used to. It just keeps me in ‘check’ if you like. I’ve still a long way to go! I’m a work in progress and I have a suspicion that I’m not alone in these thoughts/issues.
My faith and identity in God are huge factors in any progress I’ve made to date in my dieting journey. It is only with His strength and power that I can overcome and walk into complete freedom. I know it’s coming … and SOON. I’d love for you to be part of that overcoming (if you’d care to share your journey with me.) Can I also possibly recommend another blog for you to read? … my friend Zoe (@nest_and_gather) recently documented her own journey – you can read it here.
Just know this today ... you are never alone. Social media can make lives look all shiny and wonderful ... no-one knows what goes on behind closed doors.